I’m now going to play a little concerto for my cucumber

This article is the latest salvo in the ongoing debate about the impact of music on plant growth – no one has tried it on a big enough scale yet for me – imagine serried ears of corn swaying in the fields of Lincolnshire “Corn Barons” to the sound of Verdi!

Or Cornish cows formation dancing to YMCA. I think I have just invented a new contribution to rural tourism!